It wasn't even over anything major. But, a tiny inconvenience opened the door for rumination, which quickly led to a spiral. It's surprisingly hard to apply the things that are so easy to apply in brain school. It's so easy to be non judgemental about my emotions, until I'm beating myself up over having a panic attack over something truly unimportant.

I did successfully utilize HALT, which is a body scan that asks, "Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?" since those things can all affect my ability to be...

Shout out @ngixma, who recently shared their tattoos and made me want to hop on the bandwagon!

My first and only is a big biblically accurate angel I got on my bicep. I wanted my first tattoo to be very intentional and meaningful, so I got something that harkens back to my being raised in the Southern US during the Satanic Panic. There's some beauty hidden...

Haven't blogged about my time in therapy cause I'm hitting a routine. I'm about halfway through the PHP side of the program, and about a quarter to a fifth of the way through the entire thing.

Today's lesson was on Interpersonal Effectiveness. When we communicate for a purpose, how do we do so effectively? How do I make my voice heard? How do I make my wants and needs known? Obviously this isn't about defending myself from an abuser, nor is it about making fart jokes with my buddies. In a high...

I made plans! With an itinerary! I made decisions and bought tickets and called for a reservation!

Picked up Palworld and Runescape: Dragonwilds. Excited to disassociate to some video games this weekend. For the first time in a minute, I don't have any plans. Time to regenerate some spoons and enjoy the beginning of the crisp weather.

I spent 24-ish hours at a friend's house, and I'm not convinced they're not a reptile. It was like 95 degrees in their place. While we had a great time doing, uh, marathon cooperative wrestling, when I left it was raining and cool. I slept in, with my window open....

I left a reply elsewhere about the parable of the old man and the horse. I’ll leave you to google the story yourself, but the moral of the story is that good luck can bring bad luck and vice verse. It’s impossible to know how it comes about.

For context, my ‘type’ is people who play in the space of gender. I think it started with Pirate King Elizabeth Swan, and a deluge of punk/alt/tomboy sidekicks and badass women in media. Not saying very feminine women can’t be badasses, but like, Kim Possible-...

CW self harm - it gets a bit heavier here. I am not asking for advice or validation, but if you feel so moved to share it, then I thank you for your time. I just need to express this in a semi-public space.

I have a lot of scars. When I was a kid, I got swarmed by fire ants. Anaphylactic shock, rushed to the hospital. Spent the whole summer in a calamine lotion bath. We lost count at 200 blisters. I wound up so pockmarked for years, mostly on my legs and torso. They’ve pretty much faded, but they...

Literally, in the last post, I mentioned how all of the worksheets we get follow the exact same structure. Well, today, we were finishing up our worksheets and the group therapist pointed out: "Now, I know what you're thinking. 'Where's the skills column? The last column is always skills!' Well, here's the deal-" yeah, we didn't discuss skills. Reason being, today we had a lecture on ACT. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

Being human comes with pain. Uncomfortable memories, trauma, emotions and...

This week has been kind of a lot. Most of the group discussions have been centered on a topic and how it relates to specific emotions, and how to utilize various skills to address those emotions. Thoughts lead to emotions, emotions lead to behaviors, behaviors lead out outcomes. Do you act opposite to the emotion? Do you fact check or practice mindfulness to reevaluate the emotion itself? Or do you de-fuse the thought from the feeling at the most base level?

The classes all have the same basic...

Brain school's been going well but that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk punk rock. Riot Fest Chicago, 2026. I somehow made it 33 years, and over 4 of them in one of the biggest music scenes in the US, without ever having been to a concert. I don't do things by half measures, so yesterday I went in, head-first.

Got to the festival halfway through a Melt Banana set. I've never really listened to them, but they really do the genre of "noise metal" justice. We moseyed around, snacked a...

Whoof, today was a lot more draining. We discussed a lot of what being a people pleaser looks like, setting healthy boundaries. A pretty poignant message to what sent me here in the first place, but quite early to hear it in the program. Got a lot to think about. That, and my new psych switched up my meds, so I'm feeling extra drained and a little dizzy.

Just gonna watch some comfort youtube till I can wrap up my laundry, then crash. School tomorrow, then RIOT FEST LET'S GOOOOOOO I'M GONNA WATCH THE...

Today, I started my first session at a PHP/IOP center for panic attack/anxiety disorder, among other things. It was kind of exactly what I expected? A lot of sitting in a circle, talking about feelings and techniques and such. I feel a sense of shame and embarrassment: that I'm the guy who couldn't hack it. I'm not strong enough for my job. There's something wrong with me, and that's why I have to go to therapy.

In our afternoon session, we literally talked about how the logical mind and the emotional...

Well, the bad news is, I had a panic attack and nervous breakdown at work. The good news is, I get some time off, I get to go to brain school (to learn how to have a brain), and glorious, glorious medical debt. But hey, that’s America, baybee!

I hope the other kids at brain school think I’m cool. What if my mental illness isn’t cool enough for them? Haha nah, I’m just kidding. I just don’t know how to process this, so I default to humor. Please send encouraging stuff, or unrelated happy thoughts. I am...

Howdy! I'm jDanger most places online, but my friends call me JK. Be forewarned: if you call me JK, that means you're my friend. That's the rule.

I currently live in Chicago, I'm in my 30s, and I work with animals. I think that's a good amount of info without doxxing myself. I'm train-pilled and love walking places, but I also love being lazy and playing video games. I'm an amateur writer, avid doodler, lego-fidgeter, and general idiot. I have a cat, who is now old but used to be a kitten. She's my WSO...