BSday??

I left a reply elsewhere about the parable of the old man and the horse. I’ll leave you to google the story yourself, but the moral of the story is that good luck can bring bad luck and vice verse. It’s impossible to know how it comes about.

For context, my ‘type’ is people who play in the space of gender. I think it started with Pirate King Elizabeth Swan, and a deluge of punk/alt/tomboy sidekicks and badass women in media. Not saying very feminine women can’t be badasses, but like, Kim Possible- I’m getting distracted. Anyway, a lot of my crushes as a young adult turned me down because they were lesbians. As I grew up, I began exploring my bisexuality with feminine men and trans and nonbinary folks. A few years ago, I had a AFAB coworker who was super cool and attractive, but my reaction was “they’re a lesbian with a hard L, plus they’re a coworker, no point even asking.”

Fast forward to now. Nervous breakdown. FMLA. PHP/IOP program. It led to me reaching out for support to an old friend. “Hey, I hope I’m not over stepping, but I know you went through an institution and I was hoping I could get some advice”. We reconnected. We hung out. We were laughing. They asked me out to dinner, and when I got there they were dressed to the nines and looked amazing.

There was a vibe. I finally asked what their deal was. They said they definitely prefer femme and dislike performative masculinity. But they’ve been exploring their identity. They’ve been considering exceptions wink. Demisexuality wink. The importance of being there for friends wink. After dinner we couldn’t stop hugging. I shot my shot. We slept in until noon.

Later the following day, I was working on a puzzle in the living room. My roommate came into the room and asked me how dinner went. I said “pretty good.” He said “nice.” There was a long pause with only the sound of me shuffling through the jigsaw pieces. Finally he flatly said, “yeah I saw you guys making out on the couch. Please give me a heads up next time”.

Good luck? Bad luck? One thing’s for sure: life’s funny.