My first day of brain school

Today, I started my first session at a PHP/IOP center for panic attack/anxiety disorder, among other things. It was kind of exactly what I expected? A lot of sitting in a circle, talking about feelings and techniques and such. I feel a sense of shame and embarrassment: that I'm the guy who couldn't hack it. I'm not strong enough for my job. There's something wrong with me, and that's why I have to go to therapy.

In our afternoon session, we literally talked about how the logical mind and the emotional mind can compete or work together. The rational fact is, there is something wrong with my mind. But I don't need to feel shame about that. Everyone has their own struggles. I just need some help with mine. When rationality and emotions meet, you get wisdom, and with that comes clarity.

I have no idea what the next few weeks (months?) look like for me. I'm scared, but at least I'm taking that first step. I'm hopeful I'll learn lots of useful techniques and these things will become second nature. Lord knows I have enough acronyms and pamphlets, I just need realistic training on how to use them.

Also, I successfully submitted my insurance paperwork. Small victory! Time to celebrate with a borgar or perchance eggy sandy.

[JK]