Not to bum anyone out or anything, but what do you do if no matter what you do, all you end up with is feeling empty? Whether it's art, cooking, coding, writing, whatever it is that I do, all I end up with after the fact is a deep sense of emptiness. Maybe I'm depressed, maybe I'm not, labels mean very little either way. What should I do? What is there left to do?

Ever since I've decided to let go of my own internal expectations, I've been drawing for 12 hours a day. I've been enjoying it very much, I still remember how to sketch even after over a year without touching a pen. My trusty Cintiq is fun to use, I do late night sessions with good music and a light drink. My mind is not healthy, but the weight of my own expectations is gone. I'm having fun.

Today I've decided I'm not mentally stable enough to have ambitions.

I've been trying to do this and that for almost a decade now. I decide, plan, waste money, prepare. I go above and beyond to try and feel fulfilled, to try and "fulfill my potential." Then a mental episode hits, I shut off, and after building myself back up just enough to live, I default back to drawing. It's the only thing that turns my brain off.

I'm letting go of expectations, of trying to better myself, of trying to stabilize. I'm...

Let's bring back the minidisc for its retro-futuristic aesthetic.

We should strive to be happy, even if our baseline is that of sadness, anger or hate.

Radical unconditional love to all, that is the only way.