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I've heard of a little corner on the internet named KamTube
I have an idea for what I want to put up there
I'm a singer, I love to sing, but my range isn't the widest, so I can only sing small bits of the songs I really like
I'm sure if I compromised and chose songs that better fit my range, I could be successful with it, but I don't want to give that up when that's the whole reason why I do it
So I was thinking of compiling most of my little clips into one video and throwing it on there
I'm real...

I do not bring my dirty dish down, make sure it's clean enough for the dishwasher, and put it inside that dishwasher because I like doing dishes

I do all that because it's what I prefer against the alternative, which is dishes piling up, my guilt weighing on me, and having to spend precious time I could've been using doing literally anything else
Time spent feeling like scum is time that isn't mine

So I choose to do the right thing

I know this is going to sound weird, but I promise it becomes wholesome in the end

During February, right around Valentine's Day in fact, I got allergies bad enough that it took courage to move. My skin was sensitive, my muscles ached, my sinuses were messed up. Speaking wasn't something I could comfortably do. As I started feeling better, I wanted to spend some time with one of my closest friends. I didn't feel like I had it in me to maintain a vocal conversation

So my friend muted me.
Not because he...

For some reason, I feel like someone or something is waiting on me. It feels like I'm not doing something fast enough

Making some cheese tots for my lunch today. Something I've noticed is that when I make my normal portion size that I do for an evening instead of noon, I end up feeling full and not making dinner until later and that ends up with me going to bed later as well. So I'm trying something new today.

Reducing the portion I usually make, so that I'll have an appetite for dinner around dinner time :3

I need to do something so I know how to approach some situation
But I'm not confident I will be fully equipped with what I need after doing this something
So here I am after having eaten lunch, anxious over what I have to start, knowing that I need to start it, and yet feeling scared over failure

The button is right there, and pressing it means I'll have taken my first step

I really need material I can study so I know how normal conversations and activities between people happen and work

I was watching an anime named "Tonari no Yokai-san", it's an incredible anime exploring identity and time.
Two characters were talking, and a touchy subject was brought up, followed with "Am I overstepping?" Three simple words show that subject was brought up out of concern for the other, not to antagonize or incite any sort of feeling, and I thought to myself "Wow, if only more people...

Man... I'm gonna miss when AI is dead
Like don't get me wrong, I want it gone, I think generative AI is reprehensible
But there are so many things I don't know how to do, and I want to find out how to do them. I don't have to rely on someone having free time to educate me on something incredibly specific for my use case that might not even be appropriate to be asking about. It's so easy to ask something and for it to tell me exactly what I need to know instead of going through five or six places...

I'm thinking about spaghetti again. Spaghetti, MADE THE WAY I LIKE IT, might just be my new safe food uwu

Made myself some nice spaghetti
Used Prego, the meat flavored kind because that's what I remember from my childhood over at my dad's
Spaghetti with that specific sauce, blended properly, and a Mexican cheese blend from HEB
I am living life right now

Singing is actually really complicated :I

It's hard to sing because just changing the way your mouth is shaped causes the pitch that comes out to be different

Understanding how you need to adjust your throat to keep the pitch the same no matter how you move between mouth shapes is how you learn to sing

I wonder if the HEB brand spicy fries with ranch seasoning and Mexican blend cheese is anything

It's a little wild to think we'll even look back on this dark period in history and consider it "good times"
That is, if, you know, things get worse
Sometimes, you gotta resist, even if you think it won't mean anything, because at least you're doing something. My form of resistance is voting with my wallet, being more careful with cyber security than the average person, and refusing to allow ads into my life

The last time I saw an ad on my personal computer, it was because I reset it and forgot that...

I've started trying to make it a habit to ask what I might need to do during the day so I can make a list
What I noticed today though is it's something my mind drifted towards naturally as opposed to being nudged

I looked at the time, noticed it was about time for me to eat, and went "wouldn't it be nice for me to not waste energy on anxiety over not getting things done?"

I'll have an opportunity later tonight to get the things I need to get done (dishwasher, both cans to the street). It just makes...

Ever since I got home, it felt like too little was going on
The moment I was picked up, I was told we're going to go pick up my brother's new glasses, and I mentioned needing new glasses so I did an eye exam
After that we went to Top Golf and had fun
After that I watched anime with my dad
After that I fell asleep
BUT THEN
Waking up the day after, we went to go eat breakfast at a Mexican restaurant
Got home, lazed around a bit, watched more anime with dad and that went on for a while
Same...

I'm starting to believe that those labeled as "prodigies" are just... neurodivergent?
But with a special interest powerful enough that it consumes them, and they let it consume them, because it's what they're good at, it comes easy because it feels right to them

Not to leave any neurotypical prodigies out, I'm just saying I wouldn't be surprised if 100% of prodigies turned out to be neurodivergent
Neurotypical people get so comfortable in the day to day, that they don't know how to think outside...

Spending time at my dad's for Father's Day was... something

My sleep schedule seems to have improved with the regular times that family over there would eat
It seems when you eat has a part in helping your body understand when it's time to go to bed

Every time I've gone over to someone's place, I've always felt nervous and unsure of what I can and can't touch, so I was thinking of how I could make that less so should others come into my home

I'd show them where these things are in case they want to make themselves food:
Fridge
Trash can
Paper towels
Plates/bowls/cups

I'd show them where the bathroom is
I'd point out rooms I wouldn't like them to go into

I'd do all this, right after entering the home, so they're not uncertain like I...

Something I love in fiction is when you understand that whatever's happening has ultimately no meaning to the rest of the world, you know it's not going to change the world or affect anyone's lives but the lives of those involved, but

The story emphasizes that it's important anyway.
These are the lives of these people, here's this implied power structure in a school somewhere, where a group of kids gather across grades, and dice are rolled to determine the social pecking order or something like that...

Going to cook up some noodles because I want spaghetti
I want to drown my spaghetti with cheese and be struck with Tabasco

I am making a choice and going after my own idea of food that makes me happy, but it still requires some level of effort out of me and overcoming that is hard

But the sauce is already out of the freezer, and I just need to do things I can't turn back from, so I have to commit >:3