Ugly Charm

Content warning: this post mentions self-harm and suicide attempts.
Last song for today. This one was also posted on SoundCloud about 3 years ago, and honestly... it’s pretty crappy, but it’s crappy to me only because of the synth parts. Back then i didn’t have an electric guitar or an audio interface, only a bass guitar. I went over to a friend’s place while he and his girlfriend were doing renovations, asked to borrow a guitar, and recorded for several hours. It was also the first time in my life i’d recorded anything to a metronome in recording software. And i only recorded 2 riffs, with the same notes, just played in different ways.

When i relisten to this song, all i remember is serious problems with aggression, tranquilizers, constantly holding back pain (physical, mostly, though not without emotional pain too), exhaustion, aching muscles everywhere, self-harm, suicide attempts, and so on. Maybe i’m mixing it up and it was from different periods of my life, but that’s exactly what this track reminds me of.

At first i tried to cut out all the parts i didn’t like, but there’s still some kind of ugly charm to it. I’m glad i can share all of this now.

Better demos are coming, but later :p