I've got 20k USD saved up from working full a full time night shift kitchen management position and living out of my dad's basement, spending nary a dime. I hate it here and I REALLY want to leave, but the logistics are dizzying. The job market is ass, the housing market is ass, and I'm an uneducated schmuck. I can't really get a job somewhere without actually moving there, but I don't want to move somewhere all on my lonesome only to realize I can't get a job above, or even near the poverty line. Then I burn through my savings and come crawling back home like a pathetic worm. I've never struggled with suicidal ideation but I feel like this might push me over the edge.

I want to move to kansas city, MO. As a young aspiring musician I want to actually go play music with people and KC has a lively and historic jazz scene. I'm also an amateur guitar tech and I'd love to get a job at a music store servicing instruments or something. I feel delusional for thinking any of this could actually happen. But I won't know until I try, but the ramifications if I try and things go wrong are REALLY BAD.

All I know is I'm wasting away the prime years of my life being depressed and lonely all the time, living in this rural shithole. I can't keep dreaming about a better life. I have to actually do something about it. It just feels like the odds are stacked against me