I am currently living with someone that has a crush on me.

I'm posting this because I don't really know what to feel right now and I am still waiting for my paycheck so that I can book a therapist.

2 Months ago I left my parent's place because it was really toxic due to my mother being huge gaslighter and could not express her heavy feelings without projecting it to her kids. Not going to lie I am 28 and I have messed up my finances around 2025, that was on me and I had to live with my mom again. Honestly I left her house unannounced one day, since she actually do the same thing and when I got back after a year or so, it had been a sour spot on her but we never really talked about it, but she grew resentment over that fact that I never really left a message or explained why I had to leave one random day and she took that against me when she exploded.

TLDR a friend online offered her place and has been on the phone with me when I used to lock myself inside my room back in my mother's house. I honestly feel alone that time cause I can't speak my mother's native language and I have felt more of an outcast in that place. There's always a separation between me and them, especially in conversations. She never really allow me to finish what I say when I explain my truths about the abuse that happened to me a couple of years ago and would always claim suing the abuser and what-not but it always ended up with her putting the blame on me when we're not good.

I have shared a lot of things between this friend of mine that I'm currently living with and she would normally share her food with me, she picked me up from the airport and gave me a bed, a room, and mostly what is more important is a good company.

Going back to where I grew up gave me a lot of memories and my ex actually discovered that I am back in Manila and I received some news from our mutual friend that she has been asking about me. I remember making a post about that situation on my ig stories and the friend that I am living with actually reacted badly about that topic. After that talk she was hella rude because she kept saying that I should just leave and go back to my ex, and what not.

Honestly after I heard that I wanted to really leave, thankfully I got a job and I am just really hoping I get enough money to leave this situation because it turns out this woman just really wants something from me. I understand that over time I have to pay for my bills and my place, but she offered me her place for free because she told me that she understands what it feels like to have no one.

I just feel like I'm in a shitty place right now and I can't complain because it is my choice. Right now I'm just trying to be civil with her so that nothing blows out of proportion.