Content warning, if you read a content warning it's still bad for you and if you continue it'll be more stressful as well. Content warnings are pretty much useless in that case.
I use a slur, it's mine though, you can't have it.

Okay so I'm gonna say it, some of the most transphobic people I've met are queer people and liberal allies (american term).

I guess this is a PSA to cis people and queer people lol
You see a trans person in a group with other people, use some common sense, don't out them, just cause you notice another trans person doesn't mean they want to talk to you either, at least find something in common.

Never have I been so openly outed by queer people at events in front of other people (usually cis people), it's always a queer person doing it and not to stir anything but for me it's almost every time been a non-binary person doing it.

You always get approached, everyone is already saying everything correctly, they don't even know you're trans actually and then out of nowhere this queer person comes in, only asks you what your pronouns are and it kills the vibe and now everyone in that conversation circle is unsure how to proceed.

At some point the pronouns thing is more annoying and unhelpful than it is helpful, most the time I see it used it's by cis people playing spot the tranny and once it's done the atmosphere changes and then they spot you, up until then they actually didn't know, you've know some of these people for a year+ and now they start only referring to you as they/them and not inviting you places. All cause they have only now found out you aren't 100% woman enough in their social processing.

Like I'm not fucking with people that my experience is that I pass completely until that question comes up and then I get the minority treatment in full from both cis people and non-binary people, I get that "you're a special little bean just like me" treatment from most non-binary people and it just kills mood at these events, it depresses everyone at them and it makes it so hard to network with people. I'm just a woman, every time I've gotten a non-binary person approaching me they seem disappointed after outing me publicly that I'm just that in the end. Well congrats I guess? Now it just got more dangerous for me to leave the venue/class/wherever this is?

I will also end this with, don't make friends with other trans people just because they are trans, like really come on. Yes it's good to know there are other people like you at the place but it's kinda weird to laser focus on other trans people, approach only them and then befriend them. If I could call some trans people chasers I would in how I've gotten pursued lol.

If you honestly think you got something in common with them then great start off by asking that, I would recommend never starting off by asking pronouns, feel the atmosphere, think about where you are.

Okay now that you've read all of that, I do want you to know I don't say any of it with hatred, it's just happened so many times that I can predict it, I'm polite enough that I don't cuss out the people in public for fucking up cause I'm never gonna talk to them again anyway.

Some of these non-binary people I've met are the most cis-lib coded people I've ever encountered, like I've had to educate them on very basic queer culture shit every time and they drop their non-binary identity whenever convenient. I'm not saying it's all non-binary people doing that, but god damn it's been almost every single one I've ever met that act this way.

If you see me in public and want to ask pronoun bullshit, no you don't, everyone can see I'm a woman just leave me be lol
If you a goth or alt and see a goth/alt person cool come talk
If you trans and you only see trans, just leave me be