Magical, Mystical, and Mundane Newspaper 09-02-2026

Pirates Pirating Pirately Things!!

-By Cassian Thorne

Somewhere on the coast of Landur lies the city of Cliff's Edge, a bustling center of trade and commerce. Known for their scenic views and famous icebreaker whales, this city is truly the place to be. But not too long ago, a threat has made itself clear.

Pirates.

But not just any pirates, pirately pirates. Who pirate, pillage and plunder pirately pieces of pirately prizes to purchase pirately pineapples and pirately, plump, peaches and plums.

Wow. What a tongue twister.

Now these pirates are not a new threat to Cliff's Edge, in fact they have been there for quite some time, though with the recent Landurian army presence because of the war, they haven't made quite as much noise as in the past. But clearly, they have been away for too long as a raid was conducted on the town in the dead of night. A few citizens were awake to watch the raid but none were safe from the quick hands of Captain Quillin and his band of merry crew.

"The raid was over in a flash", one concerned resident said.

"They took me granny's pearls! Snatched 'em right of 'er neck they did." Another said

"The docks were safe this morning, but I guess us being tired from the war effort had a lapse in our judgement and we were caught sleeping. You can trust that as Landurian knights and representatives of the house Klaevynn, it won't happen again." Said Sir Wight, commander of the city guard.

And they mean it, watches at the dock have doubled and since the attacks and residents have been heavily encouraged to lock their doors and windows at night so it won't happen again.

So come on down to this now pirate free town of Cliff's Edge and enjoy the fish, taverns, scenery, and boat rides around the Arctic sea. Maybe you'll see an Icebreaker Whale, or frozen tritons, who knows!

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AD SPACE SOLD HERE!!

Contact Cassian Thorne @spells_over_shells on Cyberspace.online to reserve your ad in the next issue!

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Notes from the author:

This issue of Magical, Mystical, and Mundane Newspaper took so long to make because of the amount of time it takes to travel between Cliff's Edge and Wyrmwood. Thank you so much for reading this issue and I hope this finds you well.

-Cassian Thorne