Locking in?

I've decided to gather all of my nerdiest abilities and build a proper planetary telescope. No, a "planetary astrophotography system," with an onboard compute unit, automated real-time sub-optic-collimation, all the possible bells and whistles, etc.

I live in an area with excellent seeing, the atmosphere is relatively stable here most of the year. The kind of skies where you can clearly see 20-30 satellites moving above you at the same time, the ISS looks like a bright streetlight more often than not.

I always wanted a proper planetary telescope, but unfortunately I currently can't afford a 14" Schmidt-Cassegrain which is about $9,000 for the scope alone. My wife would kill me even if I by some sort of miracle found a way to pay for it. That does not include a camera, filters, a planetary drive mount, a tripod, a finder scope, the list goes on.

But I won't kick the bucket of light just yet, because life is a giant DIY project (I think), and I've had this telescope concept in my mind for years now. I designed simple 8" scopes in the past, but nothing like this, nothing as insane as this. My current concept used to be a fancy Dobsonian/Newtonian, but it lately evolved to be a Chiefspiegler on steroids.

I have much to learn to be able to do this, but I love learning new things.

If you browse my previous posts you'll notice I have many different "hobbies", or things I usually do. I'm an engineer (my day job), I cook, I write, I draw, heck I even thought about designing jewelry for a while. But nothing feels like me lately, or in the past decade, you know? It feels like I've been trying to grasp at the straws of "me" and everything falls short. I don't even experience the initial novelty of an exciting new thing anymore. Sad? Maybe. But that's okay! Because I now just have to do things for the sake of doings things, simply for myself and not for the sake of novelty (which is a very good thing!)

I'm trying to heal my mind and body, I am trying to be healthier, I am trying to be more unconditionally loving and less of a bitter and sad individual by default. I made a spreadsheet to track my food and how it makes my body feel. I went out for a first walk in literal years today and I'm tracking my blood pressure daily now. I want to change, be more active and enjoy life to its fullest as much as I possibly can. Even if my output is less than average for now, I truly love life in spite of the challenges.

I don't know whether this project will stick or not, whether this will heal my mental challenges or not (probably not). But hopefully diving head first into the vortex of an over-the-top engineering project that requires a team of 10 professionals to complete in a reasonable time frame will give me some relief. Maybe I'll even have some fun, what the heck.

Love you all ♥