Scuffed (from memory) transcript of the only good Instagram reel I've ever seen

<a well lit man sporting a beard and blue hair leans slightly to camera. The background is green screened in, some random 3D shapes looking like a screensaver. He addresses the audience as if they're misguided children>

I'm just gonna say it. Boycotts don't work. I'm sorry. They don't.

<The scene changes. We are now addressed by a clean shaven man in a poorly lit room. What appears to be a bedframe is visible behind him. He speaks in a flat drawl>

Sabotage works. Instead of not buying Coca-Cola, go to the store and open them all up.

<He takes a bite of pizza, and continues talking as he chews>

We gotta do more shit, man, there aren't any rules. Well, there are, and it can get bad if you're caught, but the people we're against don't care about the rules so we shouldn't either.

There's more that I don't remember, the second man mentioned his photosensitivity (an ASD symptom), but I don't recall more than that. I feel I've recorded the most important part of the message, though.

So remember, kids, boycotts don't work.

And if you're worried about getting in trouble for opening cans, you can stick a soda bottle with a sewing needle near the bottom, and it'll drain so slow that you'll be long gone by the time anyone notices. So I've heard. I'm an author, I know a lot of random shit cos it's useful for books breh.