self-critique: I'm not a creative person in part because I never developed the discipline to develop creative skills

I'm having a frustrating day where I find myself wishing I had a creative outlet. I've started 100 of them, I have two guitars, 1,000 sketchbooks, an Ableton license, multiple YouTube channels, multiple writing outlets. I have creative outlets "available" but I won't stick to them.

I've discovered why, through a good bit of introspection. I was trying to motivate myself to open up Blender to start working on a project I feel excited about. I could not, for some reason, bring myself to just start on it.

What I realized is that I don't want to start on it because I don't know how to do much in Blender. I realized I have not developed the discipline to work at something long enough to get good enough at it that it is fun.

Blender isn't fun when you're shit at it. Drawing isn't fun when you're shit at it. Guitar, piano, writing, etc. isn't that fun when you're not good at it. It doesn't feel like an outlet, it feels like a frustration. That's why I haven't developed a proper creative outlet, it's because I haven't developed the discipline necessary to stick with something long enough to get good at it.