Been a while since I've journalled.

Second to last day of my placement at the school today. I'm happy that it's finishing (the 5am starts are killer for my gaming habits), but I have kinda fallen into a nice routine. Interview for the role is this time next week, but I'm apprehensive. I sorta don't want to (the bus commute takes too long) but it's good money I guess. And I get school holidays off. As my mother always says, "little sacrifices". But at the same time, I know what "chip damage" is. Death of a thousand cuts, as it were.

I know no job is perfect, but I do value my time more as I get older. I value the little days where I get to do nothing like gold dust. I guess I still get them when the holidays come in. I guess I have the week to consider my options.

In other news, I feel... worn down. There's a lot of weight on my shoulders. There's a lot I need to support, and it feels like I'm awarded less and less time to fix them. Like I'm juggling knives. I can't let any of them fall because the moment they do, I get cut and they fly up again. I can't fall. If I do, I fall into another tightrope and I can't fall that one either. There is no net. There is no hard floor, no pit to die in. I don't get to break my bones. I just get to fall.